My Immortal
by Superkoi
Summary: Oneshot and songfic. Viera live for almost an eternity, but Humes don't. FranxBalthier!


**A/N: This one was frustrating for two reasons. One, it's a little too long to be a one-shot, but a little too short to be multiple chapter. So I settled for a one-shot, because I rarely do any of those. Secondly, _My Immortal _is my all-time favorite song. Ever. So... I felt the pressure. I needed to make this fan fiction good or else I'd be haunted by my crappiness every time I hear it. Luckily, I'm rather proud. :) **

**My Immortal**

The other Viera called me crazy to create such a deep friendship with a Hume. I knew it was odd myself, but Balthier and I had something special. Something that the natural laws of Viera couldn't stop. I forget exactly how we met, it was so long ago… Hm. A Viera that forgets important events. That's a sight for sore eyes. Then again, I've been around for a very long time, and after awhile everyone's memory begins fading, Viera or not. I even lost track myself as to how old I am. I stopped counting after the first 90 years.

Balthier never forgot. Every day on my birthday he'd greet me with a crooked smile and a casual, "Happy Birthday." Then he'd make me recall how many years old I was, no matter how high the count became.

Even though I'd get upset with him for making me remember my old age, I wish he was still around to continue this tradition. I'd do anything to have him back again with me… Anything.

I've never been to a funeral before. At first I was scared, I had no idea what to expect. I guess I'm scared of being afraid, as foolish as that sounds. Balthier always helped me feel brave, though, and keep a calm exterior. It was like he helped me shine.

I made my way up to the casket which was covered in Galbana Lilies. That was his favorite flower. I didn't know what to do. I felt like my eyes were about to explode with tears, but my mind still couldn't comprehend what was happening. I shut my eyes and took deep breaths, trying to convince myself that this was all a bad dream and I'd wake up soon with Balthier waiting for me. My train of thought was broken when a hand landed on my shoulder. I swirled around quickly to meet the face of Vaan.

Yes, I remember Vaan. He had done some growing since the last time I saw him. He looked more mature, but his usual smile was replaced with a frown of sympathy and grief.

"Fran… You okay?" He asked. For once, I didn't have an answer. The truth was no, I am not okay and I never will be. I didn't want to worry him, though, so I lied.

"Yes. Thank you for the concern." I didn't feel like faking a smile. It would only end in a hideous failed attempt, and that would only add to my unconvincing lie. Vaan nodded once and walked off.

Such a common question brought so many thoughts to my head that only made my eyes want to leak more. If Balthier can't be with me, then I don't want to live, but he'd want me to live. I'm just being scared again, scared of being scared. And all the while my mind still can't realize that he's gone forever. I still feel like he's behind me all the time, but when I turn around, I'm alone. And that's how it will be from now on.

**(I'm so tired of being here, **

**Supressed by all my childish fears. **

**And if you have to leave, **

**I wish that you would just leave, **

'**Cause your presence still lingers here, **

**And it won't leave me alone.) **

No Hume and Viera could ever come close to sharing the same kind of bond that Balthier and I shared. He watched over me, while I watched over him and we took care of each other.

We were each other's shields. Protecting for eternity. I had forgotten my job, apparently. I let him down and I can never forgive myself. He fell ill, though. And suffered until death. I did all I could and was with him until his final breath, protecting like we promised.

We shared everything. Fears, laughs, tears… And we were together the entire time. There is no possible way for my heart to heal, not after this. There will forever more be a gaping hole in my chest that belonged to Balthier. I can't come to terms and just accept, my only choice is suffering.

People tell me that I'll get over it in a few years, but they know nothing of my pain. This isn't something I forget and then move on… Too much has happened between him and I.

**(These wounds won't seem to heal, **

**This pain is just too real, **

**There's too much that time cannot erase.**

**When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears, **

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, **

**I held your hand through all of these years, **

**But you still have**

**All of me.) **

There was something about Balthier that was just so charming. He always appeared to be shining and had an aura of confidence following him around. He was always like that. Some of it even rubbed off on me. Whenever I was around him, I could feel his light shining on me…

"Fran?" Again my thoughts were stopped by Vaan. I looked over at him and realized that the funeral was over already. I was now walking out of the Funeral Home and hadn't noticed my dazed appearance. Vaan, Penelo, Basch, and Lady Ashe stood in front of me. It was nice to see them all again after all those years.

"Yes?" I responded, slightly delayed. Vaan gave a reassuring smile that didn't work.

"You looked tense, that's all." Vaan explained. I paused at that moment, for I swore I heard a voice that didn't belong to anyone here.

"Fran, you look beautiful today." A smooth voice cut through the air and tickled my ears with delight.

It was Balthier, I know his voice anywhere and it was him. But… how? My mind was still ten paces behind me and didn't realize that there was no way that Balthier could actually be talking to me.

"Balthier…" I muttered, straightening up. Everyone gave me a look.

"What?" Penelo asked, tilting her head to the side ever so slightly.

"I wanted to apologize for leaving you, Fran. It was very rude of me…" The voice continued. My entire body felt light and floaty, like everything was fine now.

"It's fine." I answered the voice, not thinking of the others still staring at me. There glares became even more fixed upon my face, all no doubtingly thinking the same thing.

"What's fine?" Lady Ashe questioned, worry written upon her features.

"It's not fine. I miss you too much for it to be fine." Balthier said as my ears pricked.

"I miss you, too." I explained to the voice. I ignored the confused faces they were giving me. I only cared about talking to Balthier again.

"Fran… You can catch up, okay?" Vaan suggested. The others filed out behind him and left me outside the Funeral Home.

"Balthier?" I asked the sky. No reply. "Balthier?"

Nothing. It was only my imagination playing a cruel trick on me. Now everyone probably thought I was insane, talking to myself and no one.

That night, Balthier flashed through my mind. Only his face played through my dreams, over and over again. I sat up in bed with a start, looking around the room just to make sure I hadn't dreamt the whole thing.

I was still alone. Balthier wasn't in his bed that sat vacantly on the other side of the room. He would usually be snoring ever so softly at this time of night. That sound would usually comfort me and send me back to sleep in seconds. Tonight, though, sleep was the one thing I lacked. No matter where I was or how awake I am, I'll always think of him, whether I like it or not.

**(You used to captivate me, **

**With your resonating light, **

**But now I'm captured by the life you left behind. **

**Your face it haunts **

**My once pleasant dreams, **

**Your voice was taken away, **

**All the sanity in me. **

**These wounds won't seem to heal, **

**This pain is just too real, **

**There's too much that time cannot erase.) **

**(When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears, **

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, **

**I held your hand through all of these years, **

**But you still have**

**All of me.) **

Every day is another struggle to convince myself that he's actually gone. My mind refuses to believe the hard truth. In my attempts, I only end up breaking down in tears and can't control the horrible burning feeling that starts up in my heart.

I haven't cried in many, many years. I hate to cry because it shows weakness… There I go again. Scared of being scared. Balthier had always left his shoulder available for me if I ever needed to cry. He would always remind me of this, but I always refused, insisting that I was fine when I was really about to collapse.

Now when I would've actually accepted his shoulder, he's not here to help me. He'll always _be here, _though. In my heart, always. No matter what, he can never completely leave me. We were too close to ever let that happen. Even when he was alive he was in my heart.

Does that mean I've always been alone? Even when he was right beside me, ready to take on anything? It may seem like that, but our bond is connected more than a simple presence. The core of our bond is tied in our hearts.

**(I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone, **

**But though you're still with me **

**I've been alone all along.) **

**(When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears, **

**When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your tears, **

**I held your hand through all of these years, **

**But you still have**

**All of me.) **


End file.
